Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Mother Speaks

Mario said...
Ok, I have a question. What's the use of grumbling when raindrops come tumbling?

“Okay, my daughter told me you quoted this out of Snow White—is this a trick question? Life is too short to grumble about things you can’t change; instead of standing out there in the rain getting wet, why don’t you buy an umbrella (only $12.99 on eBay!) and sing a song…

‘Raindrops keep fallin on my head…
but that doesn’t mean my eyes will soon be turning red
cryin’s not for me ‘cause…
I’m never gonna stop the rain by complaining…
because I’m free…nothin’s worryin’ me…

—BJ Thomas’”

Anonymous said...
yeah, i have a question 2, what is the best phone service 2 use?

“I think Nextel is a great mobile phone service provider. They offer many plan options—coast-to-coast walkie-talkies with other Nextel customers, inventory scanners for businesses, and they are linked with both Nascar and Disney.
For Pay-As-You-Go, stay away from Virgin, it’s a rip-off—you might try Cingular or T-Mobile.”

David said…
Hi! I came across your blog and I see that you've recently moved to
Orlando…I have heard mixed comments about living in the Orlando area (either you love it or you hate it) and I was curious as to what you thought of that area, Disney World aside.

“Orlando is very liberal; where I’m from originally, they are very conservative. As far as the job market is concerned, there are a ton of options that are available to you in the base salary ranges. The entertainment is great—it’s a great place for the arts community. It’s also very densely populated. You find a lot of friendly, working class people here, and a great deal of them speaks Spanish, and they’ll tell it like it is in both languages! There is also good high end shopping—Neiman Marcus, Tiffany’s etc. From December through April the weather is great, but the rest of the year there are storms every day. If I had to rate the quality of living, I would give the Disney area a 10, and the rest of the city a 6.”

Mario said...
I have one, why can’t i phrase the words? why do i fear confrontation? why cant i just say what’s on my mind? why do i feel that i must appease everyone? i don’t want to be a politician, i want to be a person. why cant i just say what i feel and not think before i speak? why must i respect everyone's feelings and give up my own? why cant i be real? why am i so fake?

“Let’s take this one by one:

--You fear confrontation because you fear rejection; Dr. Phil said our number one need is acceptance, and our number one fear is rejection. Confrontational situations force you to stand up for yourself, and you have to have the self-esteem to support that. If you don’t, you will not be in control of the situation, and thus you open yourself to the possibility of criticism.

--You can’t say what’s on your mind because you do not want to be judged. Everyone wears a social mask, and when you say what’s on your mind, you are dropping your social mask and letting people see the real you.

--All parents expect their children to act, dress, think, and be a certain way according to the values they have instilled in you. As you grow up it is normal to reach the limits of these presets; when you do, you feel restricted, like you can’t be your own person because of the expectations that others have of you. You feel that you have to appease people and act the way they expect you to even though it sometimes conflicts with what you want to do.

--You have been raised to act a certain way socially, and that comes from your parents; it is usually better to think before you speak, but not at the expense of sincerity. You should be honest with people, as long as you are aware of the fine line that can be crossed, causing you to hurt the people you love.

--It is important to respect other’s feelings; however, no one says you have to give up your own. Compromising your own feelings is a choice you make. There is a definite middle ground here, in dealing with others, and it is difficult to find that balance sometimes.

--You have to learn to accept who you are before you can be genuine around others. In trying to be more real, you take in all these ideas and opinions and influences from outside sources and medias in order to fill in the blank spaces, but strangely enough it makes you feel more empty, and more unreal, because these internalizations are not truly your own.

Dr. Phil says, “My position is, let the rest of the people live in a fog of self-deception. You take off the blinders and deal with the truth and you’ll leave them all in the dust.” I highly suggest you read his son Jay McGraw’s book Life Strategies for Teens. My kids and I have read the books and found them immensely helpful in dealing with life’s situations.”

Nadia’s Note: Please remember that all the opinions expressed in the preceding paragraphs are just that—opinions.


Blogger Mario said...

wow, thanks. that was really helpful, its so obvious i know the answers, i just needed to hear them or read them i guess. thanks again, momma-mario

11:11 PM

Anonymous Matters said...

I've got a question for the mother. Can you recommend a movie with a surprising a shocking twist ending? I have trouble finding good ones and when I do sombody always spoils the ending for me. Oh, also if you child mistook the gas for the break and the result was a damaged garage door how long would you wait until letting them drive again? Not that...that ever....like, happened or anything...

4:07 PM

Blogger Nadia said...

"I recommend Primal Fear with Richard Gere; I watched this just the other day and thought it had a great psychological twist ending. It would be a good idea to not tell anyone the movies you are going to watch before you've seen them; otherwise they feel compelled to share the ending!

Some other good ones you might like are:

The Seventh Sign with Demi Moore
What Lies Beneath with Harrison Ford
The Forgotten with Julianne Moore

As for the second question, I think that when you first start learning to drive, its natural for people make mistakes. If it were my child, I would be upset, but I wouldn't revoke their driving privileges. The home owner's insurance would take care of the garage door; I would rather have them crash into that than another vehicle on the street.

Once, my neighbor offered to help us move to our brand new home, but he insisted on driving the Ryder truck. Now, this guy was older than me, and he had been driving for at least fifteen years or more, so we said okay, and that we'd trade him the work for beer--it was a cheap deal on out end. So, he went to back into our new driveway and ran right into the new garage door, and put a big dent into it! Brand new! I was mad, but I got it fixed. The point of the story is, even experienced drivers make mistakes.

This is just my opinion; every parent has a different perspective. "

5:54 PM

Blogger Admin said...

Great blog, keep up the good work. Glad to see sites like this.

Here is another good site I said I would pass along.
Disney Tickets

12:55 AM

Blogger Admin said...

What a great website. Wish there were more like this one. Keep up the great job.


10:04 AM


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